The Men of 2008

Guy Number One: "ThePainter".
Prada shoes, Deep Cut V-Necks, pressed jeans, cologne...TALK ABOUT STYLE! Beautiful, thick, brunette hair, perfect white teeth, long eye lashes, stubble (God! I love Stubble!), green eyes, perfect body...TALK ABOUT GORGEOUS!!! We met downtown Fort Lauderdale (Himmarshee District) on New Year's Night 08. When the clock struck 12 a random stranger grabbed me and kissed me!! I was completely disgusted until he let me go and I saw his face....HEAVEN! Shallow? I know, but hey. :) We got the ball rolling fast. Dinner, lunch, breakfast...Hell sometimes all three! We lived on the beach: partied and slept. The good life :) THE DOWNFALL: He found the perfect place in New York to sale his artwork. He begged me to come along, but I felt too young...too inexperienced...and I have a life in Florida... He was asking me to give up too much. So I said goodbye. :(


Guy Number Two: "TheCorporateLawyer".
Armani suits, Italian leather shoes, attitude out of this world (I love men who KNOW they're fine!!), cocky, COLOGNE!!! (I am a cologne junky!!!), I hate to say this but....2008 BMW 750.....THE WORKS!!!! We met one night at this pub on Fort Lauderdale beach. We actually got in an argument about something stupid. I left thinking, "What an asshole?!!" He follows me outside, taps me on the shoulder, and kisses me!!! WTF? Random strangers love kissing me on the mouth!! How rude?! :P LOL! He was apparently amazed at how I out talked him. I forgot the dude was a lawyer. Oops! :P We dated....blah...blah...blah.... Flowers, trips up and down the coast, operas, plays, dancing, fine dining...you name it we did it. THE DOWNFALL: Moved back to Chicago. He begged me to come with him, but he was moving way to fast for me, plus just like before, I have a life here...WASN'T ready to leave Florida.

Guy Number Three: "The Obessor"
OH HELL NAW!!! Dude was a freaking PSYCHOPATH!! We dated. He drugged me. I don't give out coochie coupons to no one....yet! Apparently he got pissed off and decided he'd take it. Thank God I'm not a skinny person. My DD's saved my life. From this point on....when you pour me a drink, just remember....I GOT MY EYE ON YOU!! :P

Guy Number Four: "TheMAN"
OMG! I will never forget him as long as I love. This was very short lived. Let's say 2 and a half 3 weeks? Traveling, fashion shows, dinner, etc. Nothing fancy, but sweet. He was probably the sweetest guy I "talked" to all year. He was Asian, motivated, very intelligent, fun loving, great dancer...THE WORKS! DOWNFALL: He was a student here at UF with me and he graduated. :( Left the state to attend dental school in California. :( (He was so awesome...)

Guy Number Five: "TheFreshman"
I never thought I would find myself in this situation... A freshman at the University of Florida, extremely attractive, stubble, Cuban, athletic, masculine, not the best dresser (no style whatsoever), the absolute most beautiful smile EVER!, and overall a really great person. DOWNFALL: He didn't like me...(Bet you weren't expecting that....) So in this case there was no relationship, but a lot of stress surrounding this guy situation. I even had a HUGE blow out with one of my best friends.

Guy Number Six:"ThePosterBoy".
Total poster boy!!! Polos, Sperry's, MY AGE (GASP! Yes,he was my age people!), BMW, cargos....typical. This kid was up my ass 24/7!!! He bought me nice presents, took me home (Jacksonville) to meet the parent on Labor Day (I think his Uncle wanted to lynch me! LMAO! Racist people are so funny!), the best kisser of all time!!! hands down!, the second time I was told, "I Love You." by a guy I was dating, and overall an amazing guy. DOWNFALL: Too young minded, clingy, old fashioned when it came to his beliefs about the role of a woman...This is 2009 baby! We're still friends and we cuddle from time to time. I love you Jakey! LMAO! (He actually edited this paragraph!) ....Oh yeah and controlling. :P Haha.

Guy Number Seven: "TheInternationalManOf...Misery"
I was actually very hesitant about adding guy number six because.....he's a sensitive subject for me. Why? I never received any closure in this situation.

In my mind he was my friend COMPLETELY. I never wanted anything more from him even though we flirted. We're young...so what the hell. Plus, I had JUST broken up with a guy. I mean LITERALLY!!! About 45 minutes before I met him. That was my reason for going out that night. He was soooo funny, sweet, charming, and overall just a very upbeat person. Someone you'd actually WANT to be stuck in an elevator with. LOL! Seriously.

So things in my personal life were spiraling out of control and I "couldn't" see him for like a month. I was stressed and needed to work things out for myself. One night my backstabbing...so-called...BFF...comes over to try and patch things up, but instead she just pissed me off! So I thought to myself, "This is completely ridiculous! I wasting too much time on this issue! Tonight I'm going to go out and have a good time!"

So I popped on my favorite heels, my favorite dress, some expensive perfume and searched my brain for someone who I always had a good time with, who was stress free, uplifting, fun, and overall just amazing.... Cristian! He was all those things plus more. I never got a bad vibe from him...

Let's just say it was the absolute worst night of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am the nicest person ever. I would never do anything intentionally to hurt anyone and I thought that others felt the same way about me.... I learned that night that I had been living in a fantasy world for a long time.

The things he said to me, the way he looked at me, an email response from him was: :)..JUST A SMILEY FACE after I told him how bad he had hurt me. I've never been treated to horribly before in my life.

I wanted to know so badly, "Why?". Not because I wanted to be with him (How could I trust someone after such treachery?!!!), but because I wanted to have peace of mind. I wanted to know if it was personal (something that was going on with him) or was it REALLY me?

I KNOW this situation weighed so heavy in my heart because of all the other things going on with me at that time and how I "thought" he was nice. How I "thought" he would be a friend to me when I needed one.

After I left his place, I cried like hell. The crying went on for a good 2 days. Then after that, I was just depressed for a good 2 solid weeks.

Then finally after Thanksgiving I felt much better. Saw my family, did some serious shopping, etc. Life was back to normal. I was so happy I decided to go downtown for a drink. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? Why didn't I just stay home God?

On my way home we ran into each other. He walks up to me with his arms reached out for a hug as if he hadn't yelled at me the last time we were face to face! (YES! He yelled at me. :( I wasn't ready for this. Before my brain completely processed who it was and what he was asking for....my body backed away from him. It was so creepy! It was like all the crying I did after that night, programed him in my mind as something dangerous! Like: extreme heat, wild animals, darkness, a firearm, sharp objects, extreme heights, etc. I was literally AFRAID of him....and he had no idea. You could tell he was completely OBLIVIOUS to the pain he had caused me. It was so weird. I was stuck in between the person I "thought" I knew and "The Monster" I met the last time we were together. I wanted him to hold me and at the same time I wanted to run away...

After I got back to my place I thought to myself, "What in the hell is going on?!! Why am I being tortured? What did I do? What lesson am I suppose to be learning from all this?" This encounter set me back a little bit. And it didn't help that his friends starred at me in complete silence the whole ride home. It was like 3 or 4 of them. WHAT THE FUCK!!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME YOU KINKY SON-A-BITCHES! I got "eye-raped
" for about 10 minutes. GEEZ!!! We were sitting face to face.

These days when I see him, we speak to each other but I always leave him feeling "indifferent". Every time I see him I want to wrap my arms around him, rub my face on his faint beard and have him tell me a funny story about something that happened over the weekend, but of course that's not the case. Of course, I'm "cordial" in his face but I'm always thinking to myself, "You SEEM like such a good person. What a shame..." Our conversations always end with him "darting" off in some random direction. It's like he's afraid of me but I did nothing wrong...to my knowledge. He flees like there's a reason for it all. Like there's reasoning to the madness. Like there is an answer to my, "Why?" or maybe....not.